An unnamed typhoon

Hello Everyone! 😊 

Wish you all a very happy Diwali😊😊

How are you all? 

Well, I am back with my messy head and this is the best place where I can  put it into words.

Its great when we have clear thoughts and find numerous reasons to pen them down. But I don’t know since a couple of days I am unable to write or concentrate on anything. I tried my best to read, study, work upon the reasons of my inability to concentrate but just can’t get through it.

FOCUS. I tried it as well. Think of my aim, my love for my profession and everything. But nothing can solve my problem.

Someone had stated it right. To succeed in life you need to have great emotional health.  I don’t know what my emotional state is. I have had alot of fights with my friends due to my blunt presentation of facts, not standing upto their expectations and not doing what I ought to have done and much more. I don’t know how to solve it. Its like I solve one issue and the other one pops as a replacement for it. 

Firstly, I have been a dreamer and I wish to achieve alot. I know they also feel the same about themselves. But, unlike them I am still deciding about what path I truly want to pursue and how I wish to see myself few years down the lane. I have tried to explain but sometimes it just seems going all in vain. Moreover, all the justification that I provide to them makes them feel as if it’s an excuse. So I stopped explaining altogether. Since, I was tired and just can’t explain them each time I acted in a certain manner and my reason behind it.

Secondly, I love them. I like them all and yes I do priorties a few over the others but it is done because those few are closer to me than everyone else. They have seen me grow up and have seen my worst. 

That doesn’t mean I don’t care about my other friends. I appreciate them equally they are also prioritised in a different manner. They just have been segregated under different heads but hold the same value. But, well I am done explaining I m just tired about every action I have taken so far or will be taking  in the future.

Thirdly, I crib and will a lot about Perry issues. I expect my Friends to hear it out because sometimes ignorance cannot be considered as a bliss and censoring a part of me would make me feel censored as whole. Since, each word I say first has to go through a filter in order to ensure no one is offended by it. This angered me. 

So, I  just run away from everything. I had delete WhatsApp and just vanished for a few days. All this holdiyas season was just the cherry on the top kind of opportunity for me. So I took my time off, a break from everyone and returned today. 

Did anything change in just 3-4days.? Well,i don’t know about my friends but my state of mind has improved. I am more relaxed than I was before. But, yet what remains a mystery to me is how to gain back the concentration that I have somehow lost during this whole happening. 

This makes me wonder, am I completely over it or not😅

Moreover, I realised I am looking for my true self. The person I am or at least the person I wish to become. I have been basing my personality basing it on how other’s feel about me. This struggle to find my true self and not be lonely about the same is what leading this kind of transformation that I as well as others around me are witnessing. At least that’s what I feel like.

P.S. At least I succeeded in writing my  thoughts properly today. I have gained back something at least. Since,afew days ago when a friend of mine had suggested me to write about something I just couldn’t think about the topic and even after getting a suggestion about the topic from another friend of mine. I just couldn’t bring myself to write it down in the manner I wished to. It made me sad that made me feel maybe I have lost my interest in it altogether or I became devoid of my ability all of a sudden but luckily, I am at least sure about this one thing that I have still got it in me and I am able to pen down what I feel 

P.P.S. these are just my thoughts I hope you can relate with them or enjoy.

Time flies by

Deck of cards placed one over the other can perfectly explain the existence of numerous unexplainable phases of one’s life. 

I was hospitalized 2 years ago on his very same day due to being diagnosed of Dengue. It was a bitter sweet experience which helped me grow stronger and come in terms of many of my childish fears that I had grown within me since my childhood. It was 2 years ago. Too long to even remember what happened during the time😪

I wasn’t the only one who was hospitalized during this period. I was accompanied to this building that looked like a five star hotel for all those people visiting you. But for you it is painful and the worst kind place to be in. I never feared for my health atleast not as much as I did about my dad. He is cool and stronger. Never scared or affected just because of having some sickness like this. I still remember that when my blood results had come out,mom started crying and went all into her panicky mode and well, dad he doesn’t show it normally but he agreed to be hospitalized together just because I also ended up having it. 

I remember crying in the hospital for hours and hours just because I feared what would be happening to dad. I have been a weak child since forever so, it didn’t affect me that much and ir really didn’t care how I would be ending up. Apart from the fact that not being visited by many so called friends or atleast not being asked by many about how I have been and the reason for my absence from College. I became subdued and constrained to a few of the people I genuinely care about or those who care about me.

Ironically, two years have passed and this very day which I had supposedly spent in the hospital 2 years ago has returned with a fresh kind of health nuisance concerning me. Establishing my doubts regarding the viciousness of life and its circular re visiting nature in our own lives.

The tag of 8

I am soo sorry for posting it this late🤔🐒

Thank you Greenpeace for nominating me for the Tag of 8s. Thanks bro!!

Anyone who don’t know who she is. Kindly check her blog out. She writes well and moreover, it comes from.her heart.😘

8 TV Shows I love Watching!

  1. Prison break
  2. Castle
  3. White collar
  4. Gilmore girls
  5. The good wife
  6. Grey’s anatomy
  7. Awkward
  8. Melissa and joey

8 Favourite Places to Eat

  1. Hutkar
  2. Wengers
  3. Barbeque nation
  4. Mr. Brown
  5. Home😘
  6. Friend’s tiffin box
  7. Vintage avenue🐒

8 Things I look forward to

  1. Views on my blog posts
  2. Roaming with friends!(haven’t been able to low on budget and owe alot of parties😅)
  3. Reading alot of books
  4. Library
  5. Sketching😁
  6. Sleep❤
  7. Planning a trip



Things I’m passionate about

  1. Reading
  2. Sleeping
  3. Blogging
  4. Talking about random happenings
  5. Being crazy with Friends
  6. Listening to songs
  7. Going out for walks

8 Phrases I use often

  1. Oii
  2. Yes bro!
  3. Dafuc
  4. Knuckles
  5. Yup

8 things I’ve learnt from the past

  1. Try out new stuff.
  2. Things happen for a reason.
  3. Always have a goal in mind.
  4. Be crazy with Friends. Even if things go wrong they will stick with you
  5. Take time to gather your issues and share them. You will know the answer of your problem easily.
  6. Have patience. It is easy to loose cool
  7. Try your best to make amends. You don’t know what may come knocking at your door
  8. Believe that time changes everything. Good times will come after a dark night

8 Places I would Love to visit

  1. Ladakh
  2. North East, India 
  3.  South, India
  4. (Hometown)Hyderabad(till death do us apart)
  5. Rome
  6. Bali
  7. Andaman and Nicobar
  8. Any beach 😍


I would like to nominate 

1. Deboleena

2. Crossgear nemesis

3. Anyone else who wishes to write regarding the same😅😅😊😊

Appreciation!

​We, humans have a very bad habit of appreciating things only after we have lost them. Their value in our lives remains the same but our outlook changes. Even if things go in a manner we expect them to go and we start living a life we wish to live or they go haywire and we start living a life that is filled with landmines. We realise what we have truly left behind. I had spent about 8 years at my previous residence. It was amazing and did I ever wonder that i would be leaving it ever.🤔 I guess that never came to my mind. I remember myself growing over there, making friends and making my own small world without any worries of what may lay ahead in my life. Now, I know that it was truly not an ever lasting experience. But, nonetheless, each passing moment has been a memory that I as an individual have presented to my future self. So, as I look back now I wonder as to how to make my journey a tale  worth to be told to others? 
The see-saw moment of our lives makes us grow and many a times it may even make us outgrow ourselves.So, what surety can a person provide that tomorrow would be brighter, more colourful or  enlightened?  What can we look up for?
In my opinion indeed the darkest days of our life has made us the person that we are today. They have been the stepping stones of our lives . Moreover, the rollercoaster ride and its uncertainty has made it all the more important for us to live in the moment irrespective of how good or bad it may be.
The future has always been uncertain. It is the way that it ought to be. No one can change it and Well, no one can stop living just to have a stable life.
I have grown so much over these last few years that I am pretty amazed myself. Did I remain to be the person I was a few years ago?
Obviously no. I have grown to be stronger, weaker, live upto challenges, fail in too many challenges, fall, like, be heartbroken, hurt, cried and I don’t know what more. But, all these have mixed up and blended so well that I turned out to be the result that many and even you who may be reading this post can see or read about.
I don’t know what really has led me to write about appreciating the lives we lead and everything that we are in. As a person who can step out of my own shoes and have a third person perspective about the whole issue feel that we can be what we wished ourselves to be. All that is required for us to do is give it some time.
I have been a person who gets nervous even if I am good at something. I have had an issue of lack of confidence since long time. But, now I fight it everyday, every single day. I have turned into a person I wished to be. Not only that just by crossing the first checkpoint now I have got a clear road of what lies ahead. Atleast the presence of another checkpoint being close enough can be felt from the point I seem to stand now. Not only in my professional life(student life), I have tried to inculcate the same in my personal life as well. i have told people what I feel about them whether like or hate since one cannot and must not live a life with a regret of not doing something out of just a feeling of being a coward.
I just wish to motivate many out there that life is worth taking risk, going an extra mile once in a while, breaking the glass ceilings in your lives, stepping out of the horizon that has been provided because all that matters at the end of the day is what you have become and how you chose to risk everything to live as much as you can and not on how you sneaked into your little room the moment you saw an approaching problem.

Lastly, It must be remembered that those who reached the pinnacle of success had also started their journey from the bottom of the hill as well.

 
I hope you enjoyed reading the same.
😊

Visit😅

As far as my memory goes I have visited the beach only once. It was a short visit due to the paucity of time. This is how I remember it:

The sound of the sea rhymed as I went nearer. The reflection of something placed so far made it shine in the peaceful night. I sat there looking at the scenery as the sand seemed to play with my feet. Everytime I moved it seemed to have absorbed the weight and gone a little more downward forming a mark of my existence near it just for a few seconds ago.It made me acknowledge my existence much more than I usually do.

 It left me at peace. It gave me plenty of time to love everything that was around me,be happy about the opportunity and relish the moment.

The  silhouette’s of 3 individual near the beach may have gathered some attention. Me and my best friend went crazy over there. Like a 5 year old in action we tried to do everything and anything in those 15 minutes and believe me when I say that we had utilised every minute of it.

I want to visit the beach again. Sit there and just stare at infinite number of stars, go crazy and run there and make memories loads of them to look back at.

Silence  within my words!

Hey guys😁

These are a few lines that have come to my mind for a past few months🙈 

Tell me how do you perceive them please😂

Silence woke her up from her dream and quenched her thirst to face reality.
The rumble shattered the glass of silence.

Silence will remind you of my existence and memories will signify the ache.

P.s. Idk how I came up with these but they explain many things in my life.just by the gravity of the meaning they singnify.😌

If

​If I were stronger I would have been Brave
Try to face the demons 
Who will eventually take me to grave
Yet, at the back of mind I have this fear

Continuously enslaving my inner self not to crave

A success is a building step, failure a lesson

Everything moulding a person in a way or other

They say I have matured 

Some say I am naive

But it is sad that the verdict ain’t made
I have tried to stay strong, I Have tried to be Brave

My inner demons have won over my belief yet again

I have to stand again and dust away the fear

The wrath of my inner self is yet to unravel

I have the fire, I believe I do

But, only if I was stronger I would have been brave

Waking up everyday I try to change

For the days to be brighter 

Few nights be grey

All the while I will grow to be Brave

Fear not, the growth is continuous

As I hope to be a better person 

The journey I started from my cradle head towards my grave